I'm Here!

Big Trip required BIG Coffee!

After a big trip with our little people that included 6 international flights in the space of a month, my wife and children and I are mostly feeling like we've landed... Finally! 

​It feels like we've been home a couple of weeks. but in reality it's been almost two months!

Part of our trip took us to the United Arab Emirates, and it was an interesting experience to be in a country where my marriage isn't legally recognised nor my wife's legal status as Parent of our two children.

It reminds me of the privileges we have to be living in a country that welcomes so many different cultures and sexual and gender identities - not withstanding there's still a lot of progress to be made, and it doesn't always feel guaranteed.

It also shines a light for me on the difficulties of growing up queer in a hetero-normative society, and the parallels with growing up in a neurotypically-normative society, if you're a neurodivergent, neurosparkly unicorn like me. 

I am a neuro-affirming and queer-affirming practitioner. 
That won't change. 
(It'd be a difficult ask being a lesbian ADHDer myself wouldn't it?!)  

The fact of the matter is there's a massive overlap between neurodivergent populations and queer populations, particularly in today's young people. 

I will always be committed to being part of loud conversations that ensure everyone feels seen, validated, and heard.
If you identify differently to the sex you were born into then all that matters to me (or should to anyone else) is who you are now, today, and what we can do to make sure you feel safe enough to get any support you need to live your best life.
 
I won't erase female identifying language in my public work - I think that's a tricky choice and not one that resonates with me personally.
I will, however, never intentionally mis-gender someone and, as with all my therapeutic work, I will always use the language that fits best for you in any of our interactions.

If my habit of being this candid and transparent bothers you then we're probably not a good fit. If it intrigues you then reach out and let's learn something new together!

I am passionate about supporting the transition for women and birthing people who are going through their unique matrescence and parturascence journeys.
It's called me to witness my own and others' through both OT and Birth Photography work for years now.

Is it any wonder? It's bloody hard losing all sense of who you were, whilst juggling the huge demands of learning to be a parent.

It's famously difficult for neurotypical people.

It's unbelievably challenging for those of us with planning, memory, concentration, organisation, sense of time, and sensory processing problems. And if you're late-diagnosed, then most likely a childhood history full of undiagnosed adults and peers in near constant overwhelm around you, and a full bag of your own traumas as a result.
It's no wonder it can feel overwhelming. It's also why I'm so driven to help.

These traumas can be witnessed, and with work, healed.

Our ability to regulate our own nervous systems and learn the things we can do to feel safe in the world can be learnt.

Our inner 'failure' narratives can be challenged and turned around by learning how our unique brains work, and understanding that we live in such a neurotypically-normative society that it's no wonder we don't feel like we measure up.

We need to know ourselves well enough to understand why many day to day things are harder for us.
Why for some of us it becomes much harder after we have children.
The genetic components of Au/DHD that increase the chance that your childhood was harder and your parenting may well be more challenging for you than the people you're comparing yourself to, and the ridiculously ableist standards that our society imposes on us.

I'm excited to be taking my Occupational Therapy service online so I can work with many more people, to have loud conversations about the unrealistic demands on mothers and birthing people, and help you lighten the load with a metric shit tonne of knowledge and strategies and therapies that are designed to help you identify the hurdles, and provide some spring boards to get over them.

If you have any thoughts or suggestions, sing out. It may not be obvious... But I do love a chat 🫠😅😂

Til next time,